no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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