Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
