I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize