she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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