Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
