She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
