do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize