I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize