it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize