You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
