I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
