playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
