JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
how does that bad decision feel?
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