Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
