I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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