I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
