Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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