I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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