wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Best friends brother. Beat that.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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