I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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