On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
