But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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