Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We are all done wearing pants today
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
