Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
