Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
