Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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