Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Randomize
