i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
