I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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