One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
