Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
