If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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