I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
