i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
