so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
