I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
