yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
