After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
