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• (917): View more from New York City

  Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now

  (917): View more from New York City

  Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Damn. That makes sense

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  so how was last night?

  (1-586): View more from Michigan

  got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.

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• (209): View more from California

  Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.

  (209): View more from California

  And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  How does a face ride mean we're back together?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave

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• (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far

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