Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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