i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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