Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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