getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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