I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
