I'm really into asian looking animals
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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