how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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