Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
