OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
