Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
