i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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