weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
