good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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