Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
