I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
