Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize