I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
