so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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