I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
