The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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