Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Randomize
