He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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