He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
