Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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