Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This house was built for laser tag.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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