She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
