One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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