his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize