i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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