I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
