so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
