He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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