i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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