how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
