I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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