do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
