she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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