well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
