he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
