You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Randomize
